Having a hard time..

I dont know what is going on with me. I have been relentlessly unsatisfied ALL day and part of yesterday. Im not PMSing or on my period, BUT I do think this is slightly hormone related.
I didnt pick up my birth control on time and now I have been off of it almost a week (two if you count placebos). The last time I did this, my hormones got crazy too, just not this crazy.
Ughhh!! I am so off plan today its not even funny. I just hate this. I feel like I dont have any control and I HATE that. I know I do, but its just very frustrating.
I HAVE to get back on track. I HAVE to start agressively fighting this.
I feel like everyday I am constantly battling this. Every second of every day ( okay not every second, but a lot of them..) I am thinking about food and what I am going to eat next. Its absurd.
I need to make plans for myself. I need to establish what I am going to eat, What I will NOT eat, when I will eat it and plan my snacks. I keep setting myself up for failure and Im afraid Im going to just keep spiraling out of control. Im losing hope in myself and that has got to stop. I need to do this, because I CAN. I CAN do this. I will do this.

Exercise/Good End of the Day

Tonight I got home at 10:30 and decided I really needed to exercise. I alternated walking and running on the treadmill for 40 minutes. I usually only do thirty. I feel really really awesome about the workout, but I really really hope that Im not sore tomorrow.
Anyway, I feel good that I did it. I was pouring sweat and my heart rate was up pretty high. When I got off the treadmill it was at about 186 beats per min. This is considered HIGH intensity. Wow, Im out of shape! lol
Its good to know I got a good workout though.
I have weigh in tomorrow!

Weigh In!

Saturday I went to my weight watchers meeting and lost 1 pound exactly. I am proud of this loss, but feel that I can do much better. I hadnt weighed in for like 2 weeks, so this was a two week loss. I should have been able to do much better, BUT I am proud that I am still making progress, even if it is Slllooooooowwww progress, which will change soon.

Along with my aerobic walking class, my roommate and I are going to try and make it to the gym twice a week. Last Thursday we went and walked/ran around the track and then did treadmill. I stayed on the treadmill for only 10 min because I was already pretty tired from walking and running on the track.

Bear in mind, that I am starting all of this after leading a VERY sedentary lifestyle. So, running at all for me is a big deal. I got off the treadmill because I started getting a terrible sidestitch and didnt want to embarass myself by dying in the gym, lol.

Anyway, my heart rate was rather high the whole time (no exact number, sorry) and I know I got a good workout. I was reminded of how good this workout was all weekend. I was really sore. I feel like I shouldnt have been, but I was all the same.

I think it was because I am used to walking/running mainly on the treadmill and perhaps doing it on the track was just a little more difficult.

But anyway, I feel great about starting a more active lifestyle. I cannot WAIT till spring when I can do things at the park or go bike riding(which I am totally stoked for). You see, I have a little secret *whispers* I really dont like the gym. At all. Especially on campus because it's filled with all these athletic, skinny people and frankly it makes me feel insecure. I would MUCH rather go to the park. But, it is cold and this is my option. Plus, my tuition helps pay for the gym, so I need to take advantage of it.

Anyway, long rant. More later

Saturday Weigh In

I weighed in at Weight Watchers today and I lost 1 lb.
Im happy that I lost, but I only lost 1lb over the past two weeks. I am really ready to get my butt in gear.

Dinner. YUM

Im about to go work out with my roommate and just made this yummy chicken. A while back I was watching one of Shanti (Antishay on youtube)’s cooking videos.

She makes this exact meal and Ive always wanted to reproduce it, so here it is!!

So so yummy and soo filling.

Here is the Video I made it from :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFBdzEjCGYI

The only thing I did different was that I used less olive oil.

21 Day Challenge

I've been kind of sucking more and more as each day comes this week. I think its because I have not been to weight watchers in forever due to inclement weather and crap.
Anyway, I am really looking forward to starting a new week. I really need to stop letting myself snowball. We talked about this in a meeting once. Just because you mess up breakfast, doesnt mean you should just trash the whole day. Or even worse, Just because you mess up Monday, doesnt mean you should binge the rest of the week.
I still really am struggling with getting out of this mentality. I KNOW that every day is a new day, but I have trouble letting myself get discouraged.
Anyway, Im starting a new 21 day challenge. People on youtube have been doing this a lot lately due to Jason(Tbossbone) doing them on his channel.
I am doing two different challenges for myself:
1. getting up before 9:30 every day.
I know this sounds simple, but for me this is a pretty big deal. I sleep ridiculously late and I want to stop. I waste half my day and I could get SO much more done if I got up earlier.
2. Tracking every day NO MATTER WHAT.
Some days I will post my tracking on here, but I will for sure track every day. I have to do this for myself.