Today I had to do one of the hardest things I have had to do so far in life. I had to let someone go. And as sad as I am to watch people destroy themselves and change into a different person, I know I helped them to the best of my advantage. I love my friends. I still love this person. I always will. Its unavoidable. No matter how angry, hurt , upset, or sad I am, I will always love this person. Because at one point she was a great friend. She was one of the best I had ever had. Unfortunately, that person is gone. I dont know who has taken their place, but it is NOT my best friend. I gave all I could. I tried to understand best I could. I even began acting as a doormat for about 1.5 seconds. I was willing to get over past problems. But finally, I just couldnt take it anymore. The lies, the secrets, the terrible things they had done to the people around me. They all piled up. For my own well being, I had to get out. I couldnt just sit around and be brought down too.
I have never cried in my life as much as I have this week. It sickens me. I thought this person would be a part of my life forever. They were like family. I would have taken a bullet for this person. Now, I dont think I'm really worth anything to them.
This person needs help. And Im not saying that in the bitchy way. Even though essentially, they are out of my life, I would be severely upset and distraught if something happened to them. I dont know at this point what they are capable of. I dont know when this will stop. All I know is I had to make it stop on my end. I couldnt take it any longer. I was about to fall apart myself.
I hope this person gets it together. I hope that they can make their life better. I've decided I am going to not wish ill things on anyone anymore, or at least try. I can honestly say that I dont wish bad things upon them. I just hope they find help. i hope for their own sake and for their remaining friends and family's sakes, that they will get better for them. They dont deserve it.
Honestly, it was the hardest thing Ive had to do, but one of the easiest and most obvious things to do. Im out. I cant take anymore. Ive been pushed too far. I just hope they can pick up their life and fix whats left.
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You have choosen the right thing to do. You are very mature and strong. This hurts now (believe me, I should know) but it will get better. ::hug::
ReplyDeleteI believe you. unfortunately this is not the first time I have lost a friend. lol
ReplyDeleteYeah, but you got Carmen back and all is good on that end. But, I get what you mean. I have lost two, and I feel like I am on the brink of losing another and it is one of the hardest things ever. But, it happens and we get stronger because of it. :)
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